Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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