Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
