he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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