Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
