I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
