There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
