I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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