isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
