Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
