no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
