How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
