One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
