I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
