I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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