she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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