I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
