you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
