I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Someone came in the potted fern
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
