talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The power of my boobs compel you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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