Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
