my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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