Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
