I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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