You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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