Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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