I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
