Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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