He uses pillows to masturbate.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
