it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
