It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
