After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
