As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
