I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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