Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
