we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My pussy is not your playground.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
