it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize