Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
