He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
