so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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