Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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