If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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