dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
