yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
