my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
