i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
