cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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