we have pet lesbian snakes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
