The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
