it wasn't lemon gatorade
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
