My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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