He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
