the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
