Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
